Damage Report: Supplemental

In the light of the morn, the full results of last night's storm were finally revealed to us, and it wasn't good.

All of Steph's flowers were gutted and decapitated, their broken bodies left scattered about the patio. Our once beautiful car is now littered with craters, like a pasty-faced teen with severe acne. There is a crack in one of our sky lights that looks like the beginnings of what will become a canyon. My liver appears to have hepatotoxity and cirrhosis, which I didn't even know could be caused by hail damage. Aries is an emotional wreck. Now every time he sees ice he hisses at it. We can no longer put ice cubes in his water dish. Perhaps worse of all though, since the storm, Steph hasn't been able to reach orgasm.

Damn you, mother nature. How could you do this to us?