Random Thoughts (A Semi-Drunken Blog)

Let me pick your brain for a second.


Imagine you wake up one morning to find that everyone's view of what is considered sexually attractive in a lover has changed. The change is universal for everyone (except you). Whatever a person's tastes were before, it is now agreed by everyone (men and women both) that obesity is the ultimate in sexual attractiveness. The fatter a person is, the hotter they are. Skinny and athletic people are considered completely unattractive. Skinny and athletic people wish they were fat. They want to be obese, and they want their lovers to be obese.

For you though, your tastes in the opposite sex are unchanged. What was attractive to you before is still hot to you now. However, the way others see you (and of how they rate your attractiveness) is changed by this new world prerogative. If you aren't obese, you're just not hot. Not even close.

So here's my question- despite the health risks still associated with obesity, do you let yourself go, and how fat do you let yourself get?

Personally, I go Fat Albert.


- Poor, silly Zach. He's seen over the years how unwise it is to make bets against me, yet still he comes to me with a sports wager, hoping to beat the odds and steal a win from me. Before I reveal the bet we've made, dear reader, let me first give you the terms. If Zach wins I have to write pro-broncos blogs (with positive elbow swinging galore) for three whole months. Nothing but love. If I win, Zach has to take over the duty of making New Shit burns for three months. Not bad, eh? So here's the bet- which team will have a worse winning percentage next season, the donks or the avs? As you may have guessed, I have picked the donks, and Zach has taken the avs. Silly Zach.

- What ever happened to cloning? Remember when, like five minutes ago, cloning was the big topic everyone was talking about. Scientists were cloning just about everything- cows, cats, dogs, rice, organs, Jango Fett, Ted Williams. It was the epic controversy of our time. Suddenly, not a word.

As most of you know, I'm not really keen on the idea of being a dad. It's just not me. I'd rather spend my time and energy wasting my own life instead of shaping the life of another. Still, I might be tempted to have a kid if it was my very own clone. Not for any narcissistic reasons mind you, but just to see how different a genetic duplicate of me could be. It would be a fun experiment. How much of who we are is nature, and how much of it is caused by the shit thrown at us? Would my clone be a tool? Would he write an unpublishable novel? Would he develop the same fetish for lesbians?

Curious minds want to know.

- Daniel, Steph, and I just got back from a Rockies game. We left in the 8th inning with the Rox down 7-4. They tied it in the 8th with a three run homer, then won it in the ninth with a two run homer.

You're welcome, Rox. Had we stayed, you would have lost.