Throughout my childhood, my mother would always stress to me the importance of having goals. It was her belief that writing a list of goals and reading them every day would keep a person focused and motivated in reaching for their dreams. Always think positively, mom used to tell me. She was a true believer in the idea that anything is possible. All you have to do is try.
Of course, I never really bought into any of that crap. The theory that anything is possible just simply doesn't hold. I could spend the next ten years of my life doing nothing else but shoot free throws and I still wouldn't end up in the NBA. Call me a pessimist, but I seriously doubt I'll ever fuck a Dallas Cowboy's cheerleader on the hood of a 2010 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 during the halftime show of the Super Bowl, no matter how motivated I am to try to make it happen.
It's all fine and dandy to have goals, but unless they're grounded in the reality of who you are and what you're truly capable of doing, goals are about as useless as male nipples.
Still, I do see my mom's point on the importance of having goals, and in striving to reach them. So I've decided I'll take her advice and write out a list of goals here in this blog for all the world to see (the world being the three people who read this crap). Hopefully, by posting these long envisioned dreams in a blog and revisiting them now and again, I will find the fortitude and resilience that has long escaped me in staying motivated to better myself.
Yeah, sure.
Goal #1- Invent a new cocktail- But I don't want to invent just any cocktail. I want to invent the next margarita, the next Mai Tai. I want to come up with a signature drink that everyone knows, that you could order anywhere and that the bar tender could make in his sleep. I know, I know. It's not likely. There are only so many mixers in this world, and just about every one of them has been joined with booze and dumped into an ice filled cup. That being said, I gotta think there's a combo out there that just hasn't been tried yet, and I'm going to find it or destroy my liver trying.
Goal #2- Take a trip to Vegas that pays for itself- Sure, I've made plenty of trips to Vegas where I've come out ahead. The last few trips in fact, I've killed at the sports book and blackjack tables. But just once I want to win enough so that the whole trip pays for itself. From the hotel to the airfare, from the buffets to the strip clubs, I want Vegas to pay for everything. With a little help from Lady Luck and the Denver Broncos, I just might pull it off.
Goal #3- Get Drunk in All 50 States- Going to all 50 states just wouldn't be good enough. I want to be drunk in them too. As it stands, I've already knocked off 13 of them- California, Colorado, Delaware, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Washington. Alaska will be the next one scratched off the list when Steph and I take our cruise this August. As for the others, I foresee several long and arduous road trips in my future.
Goal #4- Get Published- I suppose this should be higher on the list, but I just don't see it happening. I would put my chances of getting published somewhere between the odds of me growing a third testicle and me winning the next world series of poker. Those five years I spent writing the Dagger of Lokin, I might as well have been shooting free throws.
Goal #5- Keep Steph convinced that having kids is a bad idea until she's incapable of having them- Only ten to fifteen more years to go!
Goal #6- Come up with better goals- My list of goals is pathetic.
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I was so excited to read the goal list (thinking that MoD would be in there). But I was glad to see DoL mentioned. I think someone will pick it up once you widely distribute the latest Rev.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think you completed goal #2 in our last trip. Weren't you up $600 or something like that?